


Too Real to Ever Be

by IronyPistol



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Romance, dumb shit, now i have to retype, upset because I accidentally deleted the entire work before saving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-21 00:41:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1531721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronyPistol/pseuds/IronyPistol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marco needs to say something but is unsure if he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Real to Ever Be

**Author's Note:**

> In case your confused, Marco talks first then Jean.  
> Yes, lack of quotation is on purpose.

Jean, I'm worried that I won't be able to tell you this in the future, so I'm forcing myself to tell you this now. It'll be a miracle if I can finish.

What's going on Marco?

I might just remain a coward and keep this to myself until I reach my early demise, which I know I will based on the current state of things.

Yeah, you just might, Jean laughed a stale laugh with not a single trace of genuine humor.

But, I can't. I know I must be brave because you deserve to know what I'm about to tell you. And you don't deserve a friend as scared as me. But, being your best friend has had it's pleasures and pains. And I'm not just talking about having to keep you out of trouble, or preventing you from getting _me_ in trouble. It's been an emotional strain. But I guess that's just my fault for sticking by your side for so long until I couldn't escape.

The confusion on Jean's face was obvious. Brows furrowed, mouth slightly ajar, with eyes forward on what was unfolding in front of him as he tried to grasp onto Marco's vague words.

I'm afraid, Jean. I'm afraid I'll say something that might offend you when I was trying to be nice. I'm scared that you'll leave me far behind as you score top ten and join the military police as I'm nowhere even close to you. My memory will be pushed to the far corners of your mind until I am forgotten. I don't want our friendship to end, but I'm yearning for something else. I don't want to break what we have now, but I'm breaking myself in the process. My heart.

What are you even saying?

Jean. What I'm trying to say is- is that I- I- I love you. And not just in that best friends are brothers kind of shit. I mean, I want to kiss you after practice, and wake up next to you, and spend forever with you. Or at least the small forever we have until we die. I want to do something, as long as it's with you.

Jean put his hands to his face and started tearing up but he forced himself to open a crack between his fingers and look forward, although it was hard with the steady stream of tears rolling down his cheeks which he could feel getting warmer.

I know. Embarrassing, right? It's stupid, I'm aware. But I don't want to die with this secret unknown, keeping it to myself as it dies with me. You are the only one who knows. This makes my feelings a little more real and exist a little more in this world. I don't want to die an unknown corpse. I want to die a person. Well, to be honest, I don't really want to die at all.

I- I don't want you to either.

I took the risk. And told you this, Jean. And I appreciate that you manage to get through all this. But, it's inevitable . . . We'll grow apart no matter how well you take this. But, on the minuscule chance you feel the same, it's kind of dumb to think you would, but if you did . . . I'm right here.

Jean couldn't even speak. He had so many things to say but he could barely choke out a word.

And . . . One more thing. My mother gave me this ring and told me that when I was older and found the one I really loved, to give it  to them.

Jean picked up the ring and slid it on. It fit perfectly.

I think you're him.

Silent tears slid down Jean's cheeks as he turned around.

He ripped up the note.

I won't let you be forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> dumb shit i thought of in class after we read the house on mango street and its annoying lack of quotation


End file.
